Factions Unite
by Maltalondien
Summary: Dark times fall on discworld, meaning the wizards and witches must put their differences aside and "unite"
1. Default Chapter

This fanfic is dedicated to Vicky, my amazing beta reader, without you I wouldn't even know where this site was!  
  
Prologue  
  
The silvery pool of primordial ooze swirled in its tiny crater.  
This is the land of the not yet there, the unfulfilled  
potential, the cradle of life. Unfortunately this certain pool  
contains something worse than life. It will still play a vital role  
in the story of life, just a darker and more evil one.  
The ooze looked at the world and was disgusted, so many stupid lives about to pop into existence.  
The ooze was angry - well, as angry as oozes can get. For a small puddle of not much it was highly intelligent.  
  
Who knows what it will evolve into.  
  
Please review this, I'd like your opinion on it and it would be useful if you could constructively criticize this. 


	2. A thousand voices

Chapter One - A thousand voices in unison  
  
Granny Weatherwax lay on her back holding a sign that clearly read:  
  
I AIN'T DEAD.  
  
Borrowing was an art - unlike wizardry - borrowing was a gift, to get inside an animals mind is easy, but to merely ride along gently steering, is a science.  
The mind she currently occupies is that of a rabbit. It knew something was wrong, and so did Granny Weatherwax. The air is different now - yes, something is definitely wrong.  
She was sneaking back to her cottage having found out all the animals could tell her, which was, unfortunately, not much.  
Esme Weatherwax opened her eyes and twitched her nose*, someone was knocking at the back door. She hopped out of bed and scurried over to the door. The wrinkled face of Nanny Ogg greeted her. She invited her in, trying to stop the twitching in her nose.  
"You've been borrowing again haven't you?" Asked Nanny Ogg. Granny nodded, feeling her non-existent rabbit ears flop around her face.  
"Ok, I'll come back later.." Said Nanny Ogg anxiously.  
"No put the kettle on, I'll be fine in a minute." Nanny did not need telling twice, "There's no place like home when the kettles boilin' and the fires roarin'" though often when she said this, she had stormed someone else's home. Give Nanny Ogg a kettle and some teabags and she'll temporarily move in with you, at least until she's exhausted the drinks cupboard.  
She took the tea over to Granny Weatherwax and put a healthy dose of brandy in her own. "To help settle me nerves." She explained. "So what's the news?" asked Granny Weatherwax. Nanny Ogg's normally creased face wrinkled further until it gave the impression that it had been sat on.  
"Terribly happenings down the village, Esme. Well, I was on the way back from delivering Mrs Habids baby when I got this feeling of being watched, so I turned around and there was this. Laughing." She finished darkly.  
"Laughing?"  
"Yes, crazed it was." She shuddered. "I mean, who'd laugh at a witch? No one, that's who, not since that unfortunate occurrence with Mr Smith."  
"He was asking for it, everyone else knows I don't "stick my nose into other people's business". "Or Miss Sturden." " So did she! "Interfering old bag" My broomstick." "Or Mr Green." "Alright Gytha, you've made your point; witches are not laughed at. We'll just find out who it was and. accept their apology." Said Granny Weatherwax fiercely. "Ahh." A stern look from Esme followed. "Well Gytha, it sounded like - a thousand people." "Must have been a group." Said Granny Weatherwax matter of factly.  
"No - it was definitely one person, my witches intuition is telling me it was. It was more like. one person with a thousand different voices. It was horrible.  
Granny Weatherwax let out the breath she had been holding.  
"We'll discuss this in the morning." She said finally.  
"Ok Esme, I'll tell Magrat, top of the hill at eleven?" Granny nodded while Nanny Ogg finished her tea. She left by the back door and walked confidently into the night.  
Esme Weatherwax looked up at the moon and whistled through her teeth. "Oh bugger."  
  
*Borrowing left peoples minds like the animal they had possessed for a  
short time. It's especially hard when Granny borrows insect minds, basic  
as they may be, it's hard not to forget you only have two arms and harder  
not to accidentally pick things up with your fourth arm and drop it  
awkwardly on the floor.  
  
Once again.. Constructively review my fanfic please. :D, thank-you for  
taking time to read this. 


	3. out of the shadows

Out of the shadows  
  
~note to Zela (and anyone else scratching their heads over the Magrat thing.)  
  
This isn't really set in any particular time zone; it uses whatever characters are needed in the plot, (plus I just like writing Magrat more!)  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Death sat at his desk with his feet up, relaxing while he could. He knew a busy time was coming, he could remember it happening. He could remember everything, even things that haven't happened yet - that's the trouble with being an anthropomorphic personification.  
  
He looked at the lifetimer in front of him and noticed that he had approximately ten minutes, just enough time for a cup of tea.  
  
Death pulled the servants bell and after much shuffling of feet, crashing into things and swearing Albert appeared in front of him.  
  
"Your tea," said Albert passing him the tray, "time off, eh?"  
  
YES, I FIND IT HELPS ME TO HAVE SOME TIME TO JUST SIT AND WATCH THE WORLD GO BY, FORGET MY JOB, FORGET TIME ITSELF AND JUST LET MY MIND BECOME A BLANK SLATE  
  
"How long have you got then?  
  
6 MINUTES AND 29 SECONDS  
  
Albert sighed. "Make the most of it..." He left the study to pursue his preferred habit of skulking in the kitchen.  
  
It was lucky that death looked up at the lifetimer at that moment (this was an important lifetimer) - If he hadn't, the entire fabric of the universe and each person in it would have slowly and painfully not existed and the Discworld would have imploded causing a large hole in the universe that would have then sucked the rest of the multiverse into the dungeon dimensions.  
  
So it was very lucky he had looked up from his tea at that precise moment.  
In that horrible stomach clenching moment, something unthinkable had happened.  
  
OH BUGGER  
  
Death had forgotten something.  
  
* * *  
  
The green fog of the river Ankh hung over the Shades, causing the  
large doglike rats to disappear into the sweeter smelling sewers.  
  
One rather stupid woman was walking through the Shades, holding her  
handkerchief tightly to her nose. She was a tourist, a rare species of  
rich, gullible human. They'll buy anything with the words authentic,  
traditional or locally produced in the title; they'd even eat one of  
Dibblers 'almost 100 percent meat pies.'  
  
She was seeing the sights, soaking up the atmosphere and also about to  
get mugged.  
  
A dark and stooping figure slipped out of the shadows holding a large  
rusty knife.  
  
"Boo."  
  
The effect of this one noise caused a shriek like that of twenty cats  
having their tails trodden on, just as the opera singer reaches his  
highest note and the carpenter bangs his thumb with the hammer.  
  
In other words - it was a very loud sound.  
  
"Gimme all your money," He whispered threateningly to the tourist, "and shut up."  
  
Light dawned on the tourist's dim brain... he was an unlicensed thief.  
  
"OHHH, I see, an illegal thief. how strange." She said loudly.  
  
"Shutupshutupshutupshutu." The thief urged. He had seen another shape coming out of the darkness.  
  
This silhouette was very different from the thief's in many  
ways.  
  
1) It was not stooping, it held itself high and proud, afraid of  
nothing, because there was nothing worse than itself.  
  
2) It did not feel the need for introductions. It is far easier  
to commit a crime when the victim doesn't even know it's happening  
until it's over.  
  
3) The weapon it was carrying was not a rusty dagger. If it had  
been carrying a dagger it would have been sharp and silver, the finest  
it could steal, but as it happened it was not carrying any weapons.  
  
It didn't need weapons.  
  
* * *  
  
Death skidded around the corner just in time to see the thief running away very quickly from a large shadow and a woman.  
  
He was 3 minutes early.  
  
Thank Gods. 


End file.
